Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Fifty Shades Of What?

Confession Time

Yes, horror, I read Fifty Shades of Grey. That's right, all three painstaking volumes. It was an experience for me, and a living hell for my husband, as I insisted on pointing out the many - Skewes' Number - of mistakes it contained.

I Disagree

First, let me make it clear; I do not agree with the concepts in this book, nor do I think there are many out there who do. Yes, it was fantasy, and keeping that in mind is probably the only thing that kept me from reading it where I should have - sitting upon the porcelain throne. But, that would have desecrated my husband’s favourite spot, for contemplating the secrets of the universe, and since – to my knowledge – Constantine was another work of fiction, there would be no one to exorcise or cleanse our domestic library of Christen’s evil childhood demons.

How In The Hell Did This Happen?

How did Fifty Shades become so popular so quickly? Beats the hell out of me, unless, of course, there are women out there who enjoy having the hell beat out of them. And, to you few I say, “Loving someone does not mean hurting them”, especially when engaging in the most intimate form of communication, we as human beings understand.

IMHO

Before you start yelling and screaming at me that I should not make known my presence or opinion in the confines of your bedroom, let me clarify. If BDSM is what floats your boat, more power to you sister, but you'd better grab an oar. Your boat of reality has a huge gaping hole in it, and it is going down fast! If this is your idea of love someone somewhere in your pitiful existence sent you the wrong signals. Love does not have to hurt to feel good - trust me! Read Blood of the Rainbow That’s about real love, real pain, and real loss. The consequences of wrong choices.

Laugh And Scream

This book, Fifty Shades, did make me laugh and scream, I must admit. I laughed at the concept that someone - half sane or just plain stupid - could enjoy or tolerate this kind of brutality and keep coming back for more. I screamed at the many repetitions, and blatant grammar mistakes it contained. Yes, I am an author and, although I will not claim perfection in my craft, my co-author (my beloved husband) and I spend many painstaking hours trying to remove as many mistakes -  howbeit grammar, repetition or spelling - as possible before we turn it loose on our readers. This woman (the author of Fifty Shades Of Grey Trilogy) in my opinion got away with first degree literary murder. We struggle (my co-author and I) to stay within Amazon's top 10,000 paid books. Why, I don’t know.

What Am I Doing Wrong?

When I first started considering sharing my words with the World, I sent 12 chapters of A Vested Interest to my proof reader; she threatened to wake me up at 3:00 AM to get the rest of the story. I have people begging for my next book; “Please Shelia, don’t leave me hanging!” Yet, this book, Fifty Shades of whatever, is practically an overnight success. I just don’t get it! Is my writing seriously that bad? Has the entire World of romance gone to the dogs? Locked away in some enormously tall building with white sandstone walls, white sandstone floors, white everything, for that fact. Maybe Fifty Shades has some kind of dark New Orleans superstitious voodoo spell cast on it? 

Line Drawn

I am happy to write love scenes, and I am happy to write sex scenes, but I refuse to write scenes that make me gag! Would somebody, please, clue me in? Tell me what I'm doing wrong!



3 comments:

Twilightangel17 said...

If this book or series wasn't your thing that's fine, but as an author I find it deplorable to beat up another author. Clearly, you missed the love story and chose to focus on things that millions of others didn't. Perhaps that's why your books don't sell as well.

LauraOfLurking said...

I think a lot of the hype and initial selling of this book came from the fact that it was a twilight fan fiction that literally just had the names changed (I found a copy of the original still online when this went on sale), it made more sense character wise if you looked at them as Bella and Edward.

I admit to only having skimmed a copy but the idea just isn't for me. Hell, I'm disabled, I have enough pain just sitting up! I know one person with neurological deformity that practically needs slapping to even know you are touching them. That is the only situation I can see having pain stimuli could be beneficial.

Nice to meet you, loving your blogs

From My Point of View said...

Thank you for your comments, and it's nice to meet you as well. I'm sorry, I don't post more often, but the majority of my time is taken up with trying to write something that someone would like to read. I don't say a lot, but when something really 'gets my goat', I just can't make my fingers behave. Guess that's one of my pet peeves.